MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
When you make finances the focus after Separation, it can be your greatest downfall.
Most of us would know this song from the famous TV Show. It was the main focus of the show, MONEY.
Building a money empire, and we all know Trump does this very well.
But when it comes to separation should money really be the number one focus? I don’t think so.
Why you may ask?
There is a famous saying “Money is the root of all evil”. Well, this can be true if it is used the wrong way or for the wrong reasons.
If your greatest desire is to make your ex suffer due to lack of finances you truly have the wrong mindset.
When my parents separated back in 1982 my parents had our family home as their main asset.
Years later I was told that originally my father wanted 70%, and my mum to have only 30%.
I knew that both of my parents worked hard, and owned their own businesses, so equal share you would think would be a no brainer.
My mum refused my father’s offer and said that she only wanted her equal share of 50%/50%. Eventually, this is what she got.
Sadly, for many parents, it doesn’t always pan out this way.
Many are left with an unequal share or sometimes next to nothing.
You have to wonder where a parent’s head is at to think that one feels they deserve more than the other when you have been a family unit.
Sadly, some parents will say because they were the main income earner, they deserve more than the parent who wasn’t working. Mind you that parent who “wasn’t working” was usually raising the kids and that could be a mother or a father.
This all sounds more like greed to me.
From years of talking with parents, I have seen that finances can be one of the greatest issues they face after separation.
The focus needs to be the children, not the money.
When the focus is on the children the money shouldn’t be an issue. You should both want to fairly distribute the finances between you both so that you both have what you need to take care of your children.
When it comes to the school uniforms, school excursions, camps, outside school activities, and so on, these can all be worked out through a “Parenting Plan.”
A Parenting Plan will be your guideline. From sleep arrangements, holidays, outside school activities and expenses. These can all be in a “Parenting Plan”.
If you are not sure how to write one up, or if you need some help you can seek the advice from outside services like Simple Separation in Melbourne. They can help you with this and all your financial needs.
Each year you will need to write down your child’s yearly expenses (school uniform, school supplies, school sport, outside school activities, tutoring, swimming lessons etc).
They will change over the years of course and may become more expensive as they get older, but it’s about planning ahead and talking through it.
Having that equal share of finances after separation will help you both give your child a roof over their head, food on the table and quality of life.
If you become greedy and make your ex suffer know that your child will also.
Taking your ex to the cleaners just because you are seeking revenge is totally the wrong perspective and motive.
If you find talking to each other only causes an argument try to correspond by email. This will also keep a track of your conversations and help you both to refer back to anything you may both may dispute was said.
Always keep the email about the topic at hand. Never make it personal. If it is about payment for outside swimming lessons make it only about that.
I just wanted to let you know about Benji’s swimming lessons for this year.
They will be stating up in two weeks times, and the 10-week sessions will cost us $120. $60 each.
If you could please deposit $60 into my account by next week as I have to pay one week on advance that would be greatly appreciated.
As you can see this is a simple straight to the point email, and it does not at all attack anyone.
Never make it about yourselves, or how you can seek revenge.
Children eventually find out when one parent has dealt this hard financial card to their other parent and can actually resent you for it.
So overall make sure when you are talking finances, you have your child’s best interest at the back of your mind.